The Tulip Tree Children

Whenever John would tell this story, he would personalize it for his audience. The names of the characters would be taken from children listening to the story, and he would throw in characteristics to match them.
For this case, I will use my children.

Also, he had great noises for each of the monsters. Unfortunately, I have no really good way to write those sounds out. So, I did my best job of describing the sound, and then I've included a link to an audio file to give you an idea.

And when he said "And do you know what such-and-such monsters eat?" All of the kids were expected to respond "Little children!"

Once upon a time, there were three children, named Adri, Cutler and Josh. And these three children lived in a very special place. They lived in the woods in big a tulip tree!
Adri had made a little hollow at the bottom, with a nice door, and pretty curtains, and shelves for all of her hot-wheels cars.
Cutler had made a tree-fort in the strong branches half way up the tree, and would play at being a pirate.
And brave Joshie lived up at the top in the springy-springy branches, where he would spend all day bouncing from limb to limb.

One day, Adri said to her brothers, "My stomach is growling." And Cutler said, "I'm getting hungry." And Josh said, "Let's go get a snack!"

And so, the three children set off to get a snack at the snack bar at the edge of the woods. And while they went, they sang a song:

We're off to get a snack.
A hasty, tasty snack.
If something thumps, or jumps or bumps,
We'll soon be running back.

All of a sudden, Adri stopped and said "Shhh." Then Cutler said, "I think I hear something." It was a growling oink sound. Then Joshie said, "It's a Piggy Mossum!"
And do you know what Piggy Mossums eat? Little children!

So the three children quickly turned around and ran as fast as they could back to their tulip tree. And they all ran into Adri's hollow, zip-zip-zip, and slammed the door right on the Piggy Mossum's face and smashed its nose. That made the Piggy Mossum really mad because they have very sensitive noses.
So the Piggy Mossum bashed on the door, and tried to chew through the door, and tried to blow the door in. He even tried knocking politely once, but the children weren't fooled.

Finally, it got very quiet. Adri glanced out the window and said, "I think it's gone." And Cutler peeked out from the door and said, "It looks safe." But Joshie said, "Let's go get a snack!"
And so they started off again.

But no sooner had they left, than the Piggy Mossum came back! And he had with him, a shovel. He dug into Adri's hollow, and squeezed in, and got mouthfuls of everything in sight! But, the children were gone, and all he got was a mouth full of dirt, and hot wheels tires stuck in his teeth. So, he marched off mad.

But, the children were happily continuing to the snack bar. And while they went, they sang:

We're off to get a snack.
A hasty, tasty snack.
If something thumps, or jumps or bumps,
We'll soon be running back.

All of a sudden, Adri stopped and said "Shhh." Then Cutler said, "I think I hear something." It was a howling roar sound. Then Joshie said, "It's a Roaring Snark!"
And do you know what Roaring Snarks eat? That's right! Little children!

So the three children quickly turned around and ran as fast as they could back to their tulip tree. And when they got there, they saw that Adri's hollow was ruined, so Cutler yelled, "Quick! Up to my fort!" So up they went, zip-zip-zip, with the Roaring Snark right on their toes.
Fortunately for them, Roaring Snarks are a bit fat, so he couldn't jump up high enough to get to them. But that didn't stop him from trying. He jumped, and growled, and bashed his head on the tree, but he just couldn't get to them. So finally, he wandered off.

Cutler peeked over the edge of the fort and said, "I think it's gone." And Adri scanned the area and said, "It looks safe." But Joshie said, "Let's go get a snack!!!"
And so they started off again.

But no sooner had they left, than the Roaring Snark came back! And he had with him, a ladder. He set up the ladder, waddled to the top, and bit right through the fort's branch, sending it crashing to the ground. Then he launched himself into the mess with his teeth flashing. But, the children were gone, and all he got was a mouth full of sticks. So, he marched off mad.

But, the children were happily continuing to the snack bar. And while they went, they sang:

We're off to get a snack.
A hasty, tasty snack.
If something thumps, or jumps or bumps,
We'll soon be running back.

All of a sudden, Adri stopped and said "Shhh." Then Cutler said, "I think I hear something." It was a snarling moo sound. Then Joshie said, "It's a Guggly Ugly!"
And do you know what Guggly Uglies eat? That's right! Little children!

So the three children quickly turned around and ran as fast as they could back to their tulip tree. And when they got there, they saw that Cutler's fort was gone! So Joshie yelled, "Quick! Up to my branches!" So up they went, zip-zip-zip, and the Guggly Ugly bashed its head into the tree.
Fortunately for them Guggly Uglies are a bit slow and couldn't figure out what to do. He jumped up and down, and shook the tree and even shook his fists, but he just couldn't get to them. So finally, he wandered off.

Adri was hanging on to the springy branches for her life, and was very happy to see the Guggly Ugly go. And Cutler breathed a huge sigh of relief. But Joshie said, "Let's go get a snack!!!"
And so they started off again.

But no sooner had they left, than the Guggly Ugly came back! And he had with him, an axe! He chopped, and chopped and chopped, until down came the tree. Then he ran over to the top branches and chomped on everything. But, the children were gone, and all he got was a mouth full leaves. So, he marched off mad.

But, the children were happily continuing to the snack bar. And while they went, they sang:

We're off to get a snack.
A hasty, tasty snack.
If something thumps, or jumps or bumps,
We'll soon be running back.

All of a sudden, Adri heard a growling oink sound and cried "It's the Piggy Mossum!" Then, Cutler heard a howling roar sound and cried "It's the Roaring Snark!" And, Josh heard a snarling moo sound and cried "It's the Guggly Ugly!"
So they all turned around and ran as fast as they could for the tulip tree, with the monsters right behind them, roaring and oinking and snarling. When they got to the tulip tree, they saw they had no place to hide. Adri yelled, "Keep running!"

The children began to get tired, but they kept on running. All of a sudden, the Piggy Mossum looked over Roaring Snark and thought, "Whoa! What a big nose that Roaring Snark has! I bet that would make a good meal." And the Roaring Snark looked over at the Guggly Ugly and thought, "Hmm. That is a yummy-looking rump on that Guggly Ugly." And the Guggly Ugly looked over at the Piggy Mossum, and said to himself, "My, what a big belly that Piggy Mossum has!"
Suddenly, all at the same time, they forgot about the children and launched at each other. The children jumped behind a bush and hid. They trembled as they heard horrible roaring, and fearsome oinking, and scary mooing.

Then, suddenly, it was all quiet. The children peeked out. Then they looked around.
The ground was all torn up, and bushes and small trees were broken. In one corner they found some bits of hair. And in another they found some claws, and some teeth.
Adri said, "They're gone." And Cutler said, "Where did they go?" But Joshie just said, "They ate each other up!"

Suddenly, Adri's stomach growled. And Cutler said, "I'm getting hungry." But Joshie just said, "LET'S GO GET A SNACK!!!"

And so they went. And with no monsters left, they arrived in no time at all.
Adri was hungry! She ordered 2 hamburgers, a large order of fries, a milkshake and an ice cream cone.
Cutler was famished! He ordered 2 hamburgers and 3 hot dogs, 2 large fries, a soda, a milkshake and 2 ice cream cones!
But Joshie, was absolutely starving! He ordered 8 hamburgers and 12 hot dogs, 19 large fries, a soda and had 5 refills, 2 milkshakes and 11 ice cream cones! He even ate some of the fries Adri couldn't finish.

But soon enough, their snack was over, and their tulip tree was gone. As they sat there, trying to figure out what to do, they suddenly noticed, right next to the snack shop was a tulip tree! Adri ran up to the base, and there as a little hollow, and she said, "I could make my home right here!" Cutler scrambled halfway up the tree, and found a sturdy branch, and said, "This would be just right for a fort!" But Joshie didn't say anything…

…he was too busy bouncing from springy limb to springy limb.